Wednesday, 4 June 2014

Exclusive: How husband kills Wife as a result of Anger

Effectiveness Management of Anger: a remedy to heart-attack

Okechukwu Onuegbu

Mr. Emmanuel Ike is a-successful business mogul, happily married to Mrs. Kemi for over five years with three issues.

When glancing through newspapers one Sunday noon, Mr. Ike got an amazing short media message (SMS) on phone whose impact he could not bore. The SMS read: “Sir, I am Chris Brown, your next compound neighbour. Please, I write to confess today that I am the greatest beneficiary of your wife. I use your wife each time you embarked on a trip. I enjoy it a lot; very often that is now part of me. In fact, it is a source of livelihood to my household. I use her more than you do. Please, find it possible to forgive me despite inconveniency. I knew I have wronged you, my heart is a trailer loaded of guilty. Hope you have accepted my apology. If yes, reply so I can identify myself to you in person...”

Ignited with anger, Mr. Ike threw his phone on the table, walked straightly to his bedroom: drew his self defenses fulanis’ dagger hid under their matrimonial mattress; approached his wife, Kemi where she was preparing a lunch in the kitchen and sliced her as a plantain planter cutting a ripe plantain.

But when returning to his seat, another SMS trooped in: “Sorry, sorry, sorry I am deeply sorry Sir! It is a mistake. I mean your wifi not your wife. Your wifi is very useful to me all these while. I enjoy it a lot in my blogging and facebooking! That has been my major source of income since I lost my job 2 years ago. Thanks”.  

“O! My God, what have I have I done to myself? I just murdered my darling for no reason... I must commit suicide. Of what use is a deserted land?”Mr. Ike soliloquized as he embraced his wife’s corpse with a kiss and daggered self as well.

What a volcanic impact of Anger! But what is anger, its causes and effect? Why do we get angry over the smallest things and blow up out of proportion with what is happening? Why do we get angry at the people we claimed to love and care for?

Dr. Chukwuemeka Okoye, in Psychology Department of Unizik

Experts explained to that anger is an emotional response related to one's psychological interpretation of having been threatened, adding that it indicates when one's basic boundaries are violated.

But while some ascribed it to an emotion which triggers part of the fight or flight brain, and becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally, cognitively, and physiologically when a person makes the conscious choice to take action to immediately stop the threatening behavior of another outside force, others described it as a displeasure, strong feeling of grievance which could result from excessive provocation or something wrong least expected from a person, thereby arising the person to hurt at once.

But while most of anger experienced persons alluded its arousal to "what has happened to them," psychologists posited that an angry person could be mistaken as it causes a loss in self-monitoring capacity and objective observability, attributing further to the primary, natural, and mature emotion experienced by virtually all humans at times, or as something that has functional value for survival.

In a Self Mastery Audio Program, two major ingredients to a person’s anger were said to be fear and a perception of being mistreated, or abused or a combination of both, and that often, the mental scenarios driving fears and abuse are not real, but they can also happen in the mind below a person’s level of awareness.

The experts further postulated that Anger has physical and mental consequences, noting that its external expression could be found in facial expressions, body language, physiological responses, and at times in public acts of aggression since humans and animals, for example, make loud sounds, attempt to look physically larger, bare their teeth, and stare.

“The behaviours associated with anger are designed to warn aggressors to stop their threatening behavior. Rarely does a physical altercation occur without the prior expression of anger by at least one of the participants”, they averred.

 However, both learned persons and laymen believed that an individual has a learned tendency to react to anger through retaliation, as well as explained that neither alcoholic drinks nor smoking could remedy it.

Raymond Novaco of UC Irvine, who in 1975 published a plethora of literature on the subject matter, stratified anger into three modalities namely cognitive (appraisals), somatic-affective (tension and agitations), and behavioral (withdrawal and antagonism).

But Sheila Videbeck, stressed that anger is a normal emotion that involves a strong uncomfortable and emotional response to a perceived provocation.

Speaking to our reporter, a lecturer in Department of Psychology, Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka, Dr. Chukwuemeka Okoye described anger as a sub-category of aggression, emotional reaction that could be induced by defense in interpersonal rear, adding that is part of human nature.

His words: "Something must induce someone to anger; either event or interpersonal rears or anything that threatens the perceived wellbeing of the aggressor but displeasure is as antecedents of anger".

Dr. Okoye further disclosed that anger could be prompted by signs of irritability, annoyance, discontent and destructiveness irrationality, stressing that frustration can lead to anger when an aggressor’s goals or aspiration is distorted by the family, relations, friends, siblings, offspring or students behaviour.

On how it could be contained, he recommends people to apply principle of a model propounded by an expert in the field, Dora Damilala in 1939 called ‘’hypothesis’’, adding that “Psychotherapy is cognitive theory in terms of perception that attacks individual perception concerning the person’s anger. You might even advise him to involve in community or humanitarian services or to leave environment where angered immediately.”

Dr. Okoye, who was of opinion that Nigerians should borrow a leaf from Americans who controls it by sending people of high temperament to undergo anger management course under the tutelage of Sociologists, Psychologists, Guidance and Councilors, so as to detect their anger pattern and proffer remedy to that effect.

He advised political leaders in Africa to expedite action towards making a law that would empower his colleagues, because according to him, Nigeria is prone to anger due to its economic situations, harsh weather, bad orientation and poverty, but once such legislation is endorsed and adhered to, interpersonal relations and co-habitation would triumph.

Similarly, a-Medical Practitioner in Awka, Dr. Umeh Nweke, posited that anger could influence high rise of adrenaline resulting to excitation of system as the blood raise temporary and result to cardiac arrest, heart attack, emotional among other medical complications.

“Everyone is prone to anger but prudent management is best solution; not medication. Smoking, drugs and drinks or whatever are ineffective in anger management. It entails wisdom, discipline and maturity in dealing with issues or people around us. I will also recommend one to relocate from where they were provoked so as not to be propelled to revenge...because it could be destructive”.    

Also experts in Guidance and Counseling Clinic, who doubles as senior lecturers in the Department of Guidance and Counseling, Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka, Mr. Samuel Ojeme and MS Helen Uzokwe divided the phenomenon into two; positive when used to correct an impression and negative when leads to destruction and called for caution when applying any.

Mr. Ojeme who recounted the negative effect of anger on his family, admonished people to cultivate habit of forgive and forget offence as preached in our Churches and mosques.

While, Ms Uzokwe posited that one cannot correct an impression in life without anger, but added that it could make someone to lose an opportunity, job and so on when applied irresponsibly, and enjoined people to control their emotion, shun retaliation, and locate to a calmed environment separate from where irritated or to involve in body exercise immediately annoyed in order to calm their nerves.

On the other hand, A computer Instructor in Awka, Miss Chinyere Adibeli enjoined people to hearken to the teachings of Holy Scriptures which admonished believers not to allow sun go down on their anger.    

By the same reasoning, the best kind of Anger Management is Anger Prevention, whose traditional therapy is directed at how to manage your emotions and behaviours once the ‘fire’ started. Then, you would learn to identify triggers, or sparks, that set you off into anger so that you can stay ahead of it. This although does not mean you have solved your anger problem, however, it entails you have learned compensating strategies to avoid and distract yourself before the destruction starts.

Analysts believed that when someone noted how different elements of his/her mind operates, and apply some effective tools and techniques for change, causes of anger could be eliminated to a halt. 



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